After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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