Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
