I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
