Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
