Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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