i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
