Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
