If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
