I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
