how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
