Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
even my farts smell like vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
