I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
