Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
