He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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