but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
