Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you will always have a special place in my vag
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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