His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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