He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
