PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
