I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
