Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
