I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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