Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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