No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize