You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
