Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
