Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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