I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
