First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
