This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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