dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
