I want to stick my p in your. b.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
