I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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