Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
