Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
