The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
