how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
