Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
