I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
