I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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