I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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