Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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