Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize