I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
