I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize