I hate your face
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
