Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
