Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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