Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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