I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize