I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize