i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
