i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
