My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
