I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
