I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize