4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
