Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
