would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
