And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
