question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just want to make out with him forever
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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