Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize