I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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