The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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