What did we do last night that was yellow?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
