I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
