Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
