We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
