Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
