uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
