Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Your cock deserves a montage
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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