so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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