hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
