i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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