im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
