All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
