I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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