this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
