I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will be naked everywhere
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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